FearLess

I always thought I knew what it feels like to love, so many dreams, so many wishes, so many moments that I thought will come true. Not until that very day when I'm not expecting love to come by. It started out as a feeling that I never wanted at the first place, mistaking it for a distraction. In that single moment, single day, single conversation with you, went so deep where my heart slumbers.


I thought love is something that I would recognize when it passes by, but I didn't knew it was love until I wanted to leave. I tried to get away from you hoping that all these will disappear and it ended up drawing me nearer. Now I know I have to learn so much, this is how it feels this time. The music wouldn't stop whenever I'm with you. When I realized that this was love, I have already made a mistake...I will never cry but there goes the tears hoping to wash away what I've done. All my walls that took years to build came crashing down without a sound. What happened?


Between love and reason, I've loved and reasoned it out.I knew that I lost, walking the streets knowing that I'm falling. Terrified, 'cause you are my greatest find. Like a treasure, like life itself poured down on me. I knew I'm in love, for the first time fearless about it. Not scared to be broken, to lose between loving you and letting you go. Terrified but fearless in letting it show, letting you feel it. Loving for the very last time, in this only life that I got. I'm saying this 'cause I mean it, I mean it because its true. 


I only have one life, and I'm not going to spend it crying over you. I will rise above it all, let love fly away...until love comes back I'll be ready to catch you.

Some Things Will Never Change

What makes a person emotionally mature?
Is it the way they handle distance? The way they keep the communication? Or how they live apart from each other? I never thought of an answer until the question came up... I thought commitment is the answer, how they keep the promises and how they set apart their hearts for that person.


I don't know if I'm hurt, or if I'm taken aback. But I knew in my heart this is what you want. Loving you is a choice, loving though it hurts is a choice and no one else can decide that but me.


I can't hate you no matter how it hurts. But I told you before, just tell me what makes you happy and it won't matter if I hurt or not...Some things will never change no matter how it turns out to be. If you're pushing me away then don't waste your effort, I'm walking away now...by and by I go. One small step after the other. I will let go like a leaf falling from a branch, gracefully and glorifying God.


Wherever you go, and whatever might happen, know that there are times that I'll be sitting here thinking about you...singing your songs and stealing time from the past. I'll always have these memories, and they are enough for me to cross another bridge, throw away the chains and let love fly away. Until love comes again some things will never change.


Here comes goodbye, here comes the very first tears I'll ever cry...here comes the pain, here I am wishing still that I'm in your arms again...and still some things will never change.

That Man and The Music

I am the girl who would listen to your music and read your soul... Think of you for hours and hours and weave words to sing in secret. If you would ask me to lie, I will say "I love you". Because the truth is I love you more than I can ever say.

Rescue

I need You Jesus to come to my rescue, where else can I go?

There's no other name which I can be saved, capture me with grace I will follow you...

I surrender everything to You, everyday of my life, things that I want to do, who I want to be with, what I want to be, all things in this life Father. Guide me, keep me by Your side, that I pray for everyday. The way is uncertain and the world is deceiving with all its wealth but with You I firmly stand, with You I am certain, with You I am strong. Teach me Your ways and I will follow. Show me the way and I will find courage in knowing You lead me there. I am not scared to fall, not when I'm with You. I'm not scared to jump if You say so. I am Yours Father...I lift up my all and myself to You. May I be a blessing to my love ones. I pray that You mold me and be with me, and make me the best for this person that I love. I am for You, Majesty.

I Am For You

I'm a woman now Father, and there are lots of things that I missed in growing up. I cannot remember the first time I opened my eyes, the first word I uttered, my first step when I finally learned how to walk...but You do. I cannot remember the time when I learned how to write, or the first music that I learned to sing, I remember how excited I am to explore the world but I don't know how many times I fell...but You do. 
You remember my first smile, my first haircut and the way I cry as a baby. You knew me ever since, You know my weaknesses and my strength, You made me just as I am. You gave me this weakness because You know that I can become strong in the process of overcoming the weakness. You made me exactly who I am today because for You, I am beautiful.


Right now, I wake up each day knowing that there are things that must be done, responsibilities to attend to, work that must be finished...and I'm wondering... How do you look at me now?
I still fear spiders, bugs and other crawling creatures. I fear being lonely, I fear rejection, but You never get tired of being there. You never get tired of calling my name, telling me to be brave and sending me help. How many times have I felt neglected, ignored by the people around me. But You...You gather me in Your arms each time I'm broken and heal my soul. You never leave me alone or let me hit the ground each time I fall.


Now I know, I am for You. Even if I fail You, even if Your heart is bleeding for my failures. You are with me, in every step that I take, each time I close my eyes...and You remain strong when I am weak. Your hand never left mine when I was running away from You. You waited patiently even when I was hiding my heart. Forgive me Father, but now that everything is gone You remained. Your grace is enough...and Your love for me costs Your beloved. Who am I that He has to die for me?


I am for You...Even if You have everything, even if You are sovereign...You still want me and You never stopped until I am Yours. Now... I am Yours and Yours alone completely.

No Letting Go

Life passes so quickly, I don't know if I should take my time or just take everything altogether. What I know is sometimes we get to have the chance to say what we really feel and mess it all up. Along the way we face all these doubts, all these uncertainties, the scary thoughts that we may fail. Specially that there's distance, there are other people, there are lies spawn along the emptiness that we feel.


How can I tell my heart to stay strong? To hold on and believe in us. I know there's so much that we felt for each other, but have we gone through enough? Some would say that they stood strong and they stood together through the storms and challenges. How about us? We've only just begun this journey and the worst is yet to come. Is my love enough? Is your love enough?


We promised to stay true and to that I hold on to, I don't want anything else but the truth and honesty. Thank you so much for telling me these things. Lets grow up together, lets stay close to each other's heart. Let the world turn around, let the storm scatter the land, but I know that what I feel will never change. Babe hold my hand, don't let go. The way there is shaky and uncertain, but my love for you stands true.


Silence...that's where we start. Then spawn a thought, these thoughts became words, and the words turned into actions. So we will be careful with our thoughts, make sure that we speak only kind words and words that love, so that our actions will reflect whatever is in our hearts. 


With you I learned to check my thoughts, to take a look at my heart, to watch what words come out of my mouth...to filter what is happening all around. With you I will learn how to let go of things that will surely come back if they are meant to be. Wherever I go, and in all I do there will always be a part of it that is meant for you, that is because of you and that I've learned from you. You are a part of my life now...and I wish I am of yours...


I am yours...always.